The teen version of My Dream School Decoder helps a young person aged 11 to 25 show how they feel in different parts of school or college, so the adults around them can better understand what their behaviour may be communicating.

The young person rates places on a map, then explores one place at a time by working down an iceberg: what people see, what I feel, what I need and what adults can do. The Adult view turns this into a shared picture for the team.

The core idea: all behaviour is a form of communication. It is not always a deliberate message; often it is a stress response, or a way of coping when a need is not being met.

• The tip: the behaviour adults see.
• Below the surface: the feelings and unmet needs driving it.
• The water: the context around the young person: relationships, routines, the sensory environment and how adults respond. It is not part of the young person, and it is the part adults can change.

When the water is rough, any iceberg will rock. So support starts with changing the water, not fixing the young person. That is why “What adults can do” sits around the iceberg, not inside it.

Choose a calm time, away from any recent incident, with an adult the young person trusts. Sit side by side at the screen rather than across a table. Explain that there are no right or wrong answers and that they can skip anything.

You might say: “I’d like to understand what school is like for you, the good bits and the hard bits. When things feel hard, people sometimes show it in what they do. I want to understand what’s going on underneath, so we can make school work better for you.”

1. Rate each place from 1 (really hard) to 10 (calm and OK).
2. In “Explore a place”, choose a place rated 3 or below and work down: what people see, what I feel (up to 7), what I need (up to 10) and what adults can do, with an optional request in their own words.
3. Open “My iceberg” together. Read the “In my words” summary back and check that it feels right.

The limits are deliberate: choosing helps the young person notice what matters most right now, and gives the team a clear focus.

Nothing is saved. Answers clear when the page is closed or refreshed, so plan to finish each session in one sitting. Everything needed for one conversation is here: the map, exploring places, the iceberg and all the Adult view tabs, including the support plan.

(Saved profiles, printouts, single incidents, daily check-ins and the progress graph are available only in the full offline version.)

With the young person

• What happens just before this place starts to feel hard?
• What do other people notice, and what is going on inside that they might not see?
• Of the feelings you chose, which one is the biggest right now?
• You rated this place 3 out of 10. What would make it a 4?
• If you could ask one adult for one thing, what would it be?

With the team

• What might the young person be reaching for, or protecting themselves from?
• Which needs come up across several places?
• What is happening in the water: the environment, the timetable, relationships, and how we respond?
• What is one small step we could take to move this place up one point on the scale?
• How will we know it is helping, and when will we review it together?

• Curious, not corrective. Treat answers as possible explanations to check over time, not as facts.
• Change the water first. Start the support plan with what adults will do differently, then agree any small steps with the young person.
• Neuro-affirming. Moving, stimming, seeking or avoiding sensory input, or needing routine are often ways of regulating, not problems to remove.
• Their voice, their choice. Explore one or two places per session; they can skip or stop at any time. No name is needed, as nothing is saved. Agree with the young person what is shared and with whom. Older students should lead this decision. (Saved profiles by initials are available only in the full offline version.)
• Safeguarding. If a concern or disclosure arises, follow your setting’s procedures and speak to your Designated Safeguarding Lead.
• Review together. Re-rate the map after a few weeks to see whether the support is helping. As nothing is saved here, note the key ratings in your usual records before closing the page. (Daily check-ins and a progress graph are available only in the full offline version.)

Behaviour as a form of communication.

A young person’s behaviour usually meets a need. They may be reaching for something they need, such as connection, help or a break, or protecting themselves from something that feels too much, such as a demand, sensory overload or embarrassment. Responding to the need, rather than just the behaviour, is more respectful and more likely to help. As Greene’s Collaborative & Proactive Solutions model puts it, young people do well if they can (Greene & Winkler, 2019). Their views should be actively sought, heard and acted on (Lundy, 2007), and the visual map opens up conversations about places and moments that might otherwise be missed.

Feelings point to needs.

Self-determination theory describes three basic psychological needs: competence (feeling able), autonomy (having some choice and control) and relatedness (feeling connected and cared for) (Ryan & Deci, 2020). When these needs are met, young people are more motivated, engaged and well; when they are not, we may see disengagement, distress or behaviour that adults find hard to understand. The tool’s seven need areas build on these three, adding felt safety, regulation, predictability and belonging. Naming a feeling, and then the need underneath it, gives adults something they can act on.

Resilience depends on the context, not just the individual.

Resilience is not a fixed trait that some young people have and others lack. Ungar (2011) describes it as the result of an environment providing the right resources, in ways that make sense to that young person. In iceberg terms, the water matters as much as the iceberg. That is why every exploration ends with what school and adults can change.

Evidence in brief: children’s participation, basic psychological needs and a social-ecological view of resilience are well established in research with children and young people. This tool is informed by these ideas; it is not a formal assessment or a therapy.

The teen version of My Dream School Decoder helps a young person aged 11 to 25 show how they feel in different parts of school or college, so the adults around them can better understand what their behaviour may be communicating.

The young person rates places on a map, then explores one place at a time by working down an iceberg: what people see, what I feel, what I need and what adults can do. The Adult view turns this into a shared picture for the team.

The core idea: all behaviour is a form of communication. It is not always a deliberate message; often it is a stress response, or a way of coping when a need is not being met.

• The tip: the behaviour adults see.
• Below the surface: the feelings and unmet needs driving it.
• The water: the context around the young person: relationships, routines, the sensory environment and how adults respond. It is not part of the young person, and it is the part adults can change.

When the water is rough, any iceberg will rock. So support starts with changing the water, not fixing the young person. That is why “What adults can do” sits around the iceberg, not inside it.

Choose a calm time, away from any recent incident, with an adult the young person trusts. Sit side by side at the screen rather than across a table. Explain that there are no right or wrong answers and that they can skip anything.

You might say: “I’d like to understand what school is like for you, the good bits and the hard bits. When things feel hard, people sometimes show it in what they do. I want to understand what’s going on underneath, so we can make school work better for you.”

1. Rate each place from 1 (really hard) to 10 (calm and OK).
2. In “Explore a place”, choose a place rated 3 or below and work down: what people see, what I feel (up to 7), what I need (up to 10) and what adults can do, with an optional request in their own words.
3. Open “My iceberg” together. Read the “In my words” summary back and check that it feels right.

The limits are deliberate: choosing helps the young person notice what matters most right now, and gives the team a clear focus.

Nothing is saved. Answers clear when the page is closed or refreshed, so plan to finish each session in one sitting. Everything needed for one conversation is here: the map, exploring places, the iceberg and all the Adult view tabs, including the support plan.

(Saved profiles, printouts, single incidents, daily check-ins and the progress graph are available only in the full offline version.)

With the young person

• What happens just before this place starts to feel hard?
• What do other people notice, and what is going on inside that they might not see?
• Of the feelings you chose, which one is the biggest right now?
• You rated this place 3 out of 10. What would make it a 4?
• If you could ask one adult for one thing, what would it be?

With the team

• What might the young person be reaching for, or protecting themselves from?
• Which needs come up across several places?
• What is happening in the water: the environment, the timetable, relationships, and how we respond?
• What is one small step we could take to move this place up one point on the scale?
• How will we know it is helping, and when will we review it together?

• Curious, not corrective. Treat answers as possible explanations to check over time, not as facts.
• Change the water first. Start the support plan with what adults will do differently, then agree any small steps with the young person.
• Neuro-affirming. Moving, stimming, seeking or avoiding sensory input, or needing routine are often ways of regulating, not problems to remove.
• Their voice, their choice. Explore one or two places per session; they can skip or stop at any time. No name is needed, as nothing is saved. Agree with the young person what is shared and with whom. Older students should lead this decision. (Saved profiles by initials are available only in the full offline version.)
• Safeguarding. If a concern or disclosure arises, follow your setting’s procedures and speak to your Designated Safeguarding Lead.
• Review together. Re-rate the map after a few weeks to see whether the support is helping. As nothing is saved here, note the key ratings in your usual records before closing the page. (Daily check-ins and a progress graph are available only in the full offline version.)

Behaviour as a form of communication.

A young person’s behaviour usually meets a need. They may be reaching for something they need, such as connection, help or a break, or protecting themselves from something that feels too much, such as a demand, sensory overload or embarrassment. Responding to the need, rather than just the behaviour, is more respectful and more likely to help. As Greene’s Collaborative & Proactive Solutions model puts it, young people do well if they can (Greene & Winkler, 2019). Their views should be actively sought, heard and acted on (Lundy, 2007), and the visual map opens up conversations about places and moments that might otherwise be missed.

Feelings point to needs.

Self-determination theory describes three basic psychological needs: competence (feeling able), autonomy (having some choice and control) and relatedness (feeling connected and cared for) (Ryan & Deci, 2020). When these needs are met, young people are more motivated, engaged and well; when they are not, we may see disengagement, distress or behaviour that adults find hard to understand. The tool’s seven need areas build on these three, adding felt safety, regulation, predictability and belonging. Naming a feeling, and then the need underneath it, gives adults something they can act on.

Resilience depends on the context, not just the individual.

Resilience is not a fixed trait that some young people have and others lack. Ungar (2011) describes it as the result of an environment providing the right resources, in ways that make sense to that young person. In iceberg terms, the water matters as much as the iceberg. That is why every exploration ends with what school and adults can change.

Evidence in brief: children’s participation, basic psychological needs and a social-ecological view of resilience are well established in research with children and young people. This tool is informed by these ideas; it is not a formal assessment or a therapy.